Ode to the jar of olives I bought myself as a reward for doing my taxes

Oh! Olives! I have not eaten you in such quantity

Since I was last in Spain, I think, but

I believe you are in fact from Greece.


I bought you to reward myself for

Doing my very first tax return. I feel

Like a grown up, but

It’s the best of both worlds, because it turns out that I didn’t make enough last year to have to pay tax.


Your delicious, tender flesh belies

Your label, which says that your jar

Contains all of my daily allowance of sodium, but

I’ll go for a run in a bit, and get a sweat going, and to be honest I think I was lacking salt today anyway.


Your cavernous, pitted interiors are filled

With tender slices of pimiento, which is, I believe, a kind

Of pepper, although I am not sure what kind, since

In Spanish, “Piemento” just means “Pepper”.


I have been gradually emptying you as

I write this, and I know that soon

You will be gone, and this poem

All that remains to me to remember you, but

Rest assured that the financial year is only so long, and

If I get my act together and do my next tax return in April instead of leaving it to the last minute, then

It will not be long before

We meet again.

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